Fatty Dumpling

A piece of cake does not exist until someone eats it.

Mini Red Velvet Cupcakes

How do you get a bashful mini cupcake to pose for a photograph?

Unfortunately, I’m not completely sure. I’ve tried to wheedle. I’ve tried to blackmail. I’ve tried begging. I’ve tried complimenting. Sometimes, cupcakes just don’t want to pose pretty.

In those situations, I try to tell myself that cupcakes are pretty no matter what. It not what’s on the outside that counts, it’s what on the inside. Photographs sometimes, just doesn’t translate well. But…what if cupcakes are rotten on the inside too? Photos won’t translate that well either. Then, woe! Oh, woe is us! Stuck with a rotten cupcake inside and out.

Then, of course, you must believe in your cupcake. You can change your cupcake. But of course, you must also not strain yourself, some cupcakes are lost causes. Cheesecakes cupcakes cannot turn to me in times of need, I must refer those kiddos to someone else who can save them.

I’m trying to write a philosophy paper right now. It’s my first one. It’s not going well.

Mini Red Velvet Cupcakes
baked these with a buddy for another recipe with the recipe by Disney Family

I seem to have burned the mini’s poor bum…

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Peanut Butter Cups

Why, hello there! How do you do? Please, sit down. Have a cuppa.

I’ve been away for a while. I apologize.

After school ended last April, my summer’s been busy with awesomeness. Yes, I am bragging. Awesomeness! Awesomeness! 2012 has been grand! I’m looking forward to the rest of the year.

Now, I read multiple blogs. The ones that I’ve stuck to the longest are the ones that share deets about their lives. I’m a sucker for love stories. I don’t have a love story (sorry, cheeseballs), but I would like to tell you more about my life.

Unfortunately for you, readers, I am also a private person. The desire to share is conflicting with my fear of sharing. Harhar. I’ll do it slowly. No worries–I’ll be victorious. It’s me against myself, I’ll win either way.

Ahemhem…when I left my summer student position this past summer, I wanted to bring something in to share. My workplace was a little non-profit organization with a lot of heart. I will miss the people and my job dearly—I learned a lot and was thrown into many big responsibilities. I was responsible for people, sensitive information, new projects…I couldn’t believe that I had the chance to do those things.

Anywho, I brought homemade peanut butter cups to share with my colleagues. They were easy to make and delicious to eat. These peanut butter cups are a sure-fire way to impress—if you want to impress.

Now, I’m back in school again and navigating the wily ways of education. It’s too exciting. I’m giddy.

Peanut Butter Cups
Recipe from Have Cake Will Travel

I used this recipe, but adjusted it to a mini muffin pan. It was about a teaspoon for each chocolate layer. For the peanut butter middle, I broke off a bit of the peanut butter mixture, rolled it, flattened it, and placed it in the middle before covering everything with the second layer of chocolate. Remember to tap your muffin pan against your counter after each chocolate layer to make everything even! Good luck!

Molasses Cookies

You know what? The pictures on this blog do not convey how I actually bake or cook or eat my food. The picture above seems to convey the idea that I like to eat my cookies while reading a magazine and drinking a cuppa tea.

In reality, although I do eat while reading/watching TV/studying etc. ,  I would never use napkins or plates when I can get away with my hands. And tea? Can’t wait. Too busy burning my hands while shoveling still-hot cookies straight from the cookie sheet to my mouth. I can wipe my dirty hands on my shirt.

I don’t pour pretty molasses in front of a pretty sun atop a dark-wooded table. I don’t set my food gorgeously for myself to eat off. It’s very deceiving. My pictures lie.

But it’s so much fun, eh? I don’t particularly want to set my food prettily up to bake/cook/eat every day, but it’s certainly nice sometimes–especially when pictures are involved.

We both must say good bye to these beautifully dark woods and tan plates that have accompanied my pictures for the last little while. My school semester has ended and I’m back in Toronto for the summer. However, in September, a new apartment and a new set of plates await for in the upcoming new school semester—to think, 5 different sets of plates and bowls have been featured on this blog already from all the different places I’ve lived at in the past few years. Mindblowing.

These molasses cookies were one of the few things that I baked for my old roomie and I to nom on—they were fantastic. Very chewy, sweet, salty, and spicy.

Summer is here and it is beckoning. Here comes the sun, little darling…

Molasses Cookies
Recipe by Crosby’s Molasses

Olive Oil Granola Bars

Fatty Dumpling wakes up. It is 7am. She looks at the ceiling. She squints at the window. Fart.

Glasses pop onto her face. She waddles to the bathroom. Does her bathroom business. Fatty bares her teeth at the mirror.

She waddles back to her bedroom. Turns on her laptop and tip toes to the kitchen. Shhhhhh…roommate still asleep. Must be quiet. What is there to eat? Too many options. Eggs. Bread. Bananas. Apples. Yogurt. Tuna fish. Peanut butter. Tuna fish and peanut butter. Ewwgrossyuckittyyuckyuck. Well, maybe.

She munches and chews and chews while watching quality tv on her laptop. HARHARHAR, people are so clever nowadays. HARHARHAR.

Fatty slips on outside clothes and catches her bus for school. With a lasso, man. (HARHARHAR—Fatty is clever too).

She sits in class and glares at her prof. If she doesn’t focus and glare, she runs the risk of accidentally falling asleep. That wouldn’t be a nice thing to do, especially since she respects her profs. Her profs are seriously smart people and says a multitude of intelligent things. Just yesterday, Fatty learned about the philosopher Hilary Putnam. Sadly, the only thing Fatty remembers learning is that Hilary Putnam is a happy guy who always looks happy in his pictures. (It’s actually important; other philosophers look really surly in comparison).

She goes home after school. She’s pooped so falls haphazardly onto the couch in a heap. Butt sticking up.

Fatty had shared a bus with a bunch of incredibly beautiful people. And she fell in love with all of them. It takes up a lot of energy, falling in love. A whole pile of people are now wandering through Guelph with bits of Fatty’s heart.

Goodness gracious. The girl hasn’t spoken a word to a soul all day. Unless you count her whistling to the bus stop and arguments with herself in her head (you mustn’t stare at the purple hair or drool over that girl’s tantalizing-smelling french fries). Fatty, you should speak more often. Make some friends. Converse about politics and what is supposedly wrong with the world. Yes, dear.

Suh, I made some granola bars with olive oil. Usually, I’d use margarine as the fat composition but thought to experiment one day to see how olive oil would affect the bars. Surprisingly, I could not taste the olive oil (only chocolate and oaty goodness) and the bars came out chewy and delicious. True greatness.

Olive Oil Granola Bars
Original recipe by Smitten Kitchen, this copy just adds olive oil to it :]

1 2/3 cups oats
1/2  cup sugar
1/3 cup oat flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
2 to 3 cups dried fruits and nuts (I used a combo of walnuts, sesame seeds, poppy seeds, hemp hearts, and chocolate chips)
1/3 cup peanut butter or another nut butter (I used peanut butter)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
6 tablespoons olive oil
1/4 cup + 2 tbsp honey, maple syrup or corn syrup (I used honey)
1 tablespoon water

Preheat the oven to 350°F. Grease an 8″ x 8″ x 2″ pan or line with parchment paper.

Stir together all the dry ingredients. In a separate bowl, whisk together the vanilla, olive oil, liquid sweeteners and water. Toss the wet ingredients with the dry and the nut butter until the mixture is evenly crumbly. Spread in the prepared pan, pressing them in firmly.

Bake the bars for 30 to 40 minutes, until they’re brown around the edges.

Cool the bars in their pan.

Once cool, cut the bars into squares and eat!

Survey for a University Research Project

From your friendly neighbourhood university student comes a request:

Hello all,

I’m a student at Guelph University in a product development class and we could really use your help with this consumer survey. We need to learn more about what mothers tend to consume and why and what the general public thinks of the Tostitos brand.

Here is the recipes survey link:
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/75JJ9DR

Here is the consumer survey link:
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/2T755HZ

Both surveys ask questions about what sort of corn chips you purchase and what you use the corn chips for (other recipes, snacks, etc) and whether product background is important to you when purchasing food items (ie. local food, natural food, environmentally friendly etc). 

Thanks in advance for your time!
Helen

Thank you kindly, everyone. We appreciate you greatly.