Fatty Dumpling

A piece of cake does not exist until someone eats it.

Category: Breakfast

Juice Box Smoothie

Most of my smoothies contain only of one hundred percent fruit. Yo.

Half are frozen fruits I chopped and pushed into the freezer. They’re there to make the smoothies deliciously icy and thick. The other half is fresh fruits. They’re there to prevent my poor blender from exploding from exhaustion (by making the job easier). I would blend purely frozen fruits if I could. I once tried that when I worked as a smoothie girl—never again. A blender whining is one pathetic sound.

So, liquids aren’t usually a star ingredient in my smoothies.

One day, though, I quickly stuck a tetra pac of soy milk in my freezer. It was just a few days past the best before date and I didn’t want to chuck it in the trash.

What to do with a frozen carton of soy milk?

Well, you can probably guess what by now what I did. I gave it to my hamster to lie on to keep cool. No, you silly goose! I chopped it up to make a smoothie!

This frozen carton/tetra pac/juice box smoothie is nifty. If I throw a juice box in the freezer, I wouldn’t have to think about needing to freeze fruits. Adding chopped fresh fruit in the blender with the frozen juice will add the soft textures needed for the smoothie to blend properly. It tastes good too.

Juice Box Smoothie

½ – 1 frozen juice box*
¾ – 1 cup of chopped fresh fruit**

Blend your ingredients together until desired consistency and serve when ready. Place your fresh fruits on the bottom of your blender (where the food meets the blender blades) and place your frozen juice (or whatever your tetra pac contains) on the top. This allows smoother blending.

*Half a juice box will result in a smoother smoothie—thin enough to go up a straw. I used the entire juice box ‘cause I like icyness and thicker smoothies. If you use the entire juice box though, you’ll run the risk of the smoothie tasting more like the frozen liquid.

**Same deal. Add less fruit if you want it to be icier and thicker, add more if you want it thinner and want the fruit to have more of a presence. Basically, feel free to play around with ratios!

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Banana Bread Pudding Coffee Cake (with strawberries)

Two weeks ago, I voted for the leader of my country for the first time.

Two weeks ago  was also my last week at my co-op job.

In one week, I wrapped up two things that were grown-up. One: Participating in democracy by slipping in my ballot to vote. Two: Finishing up a job that made me feel like an adult, complete with adult paper work, an adult cubicle, and funny adult co-workers. I’m not sure which one was more difficult.

I’ll miss my job and the peeps.

But I welcomed my newfound unemployment by making a banana bread pudding coffee cake, recipe courtesy of Natalie from Cinnamon Bums. Such versatility! And it’s cake for breakfast!

Who knew that if you bake something that looks like basically raw oatmeal…you’d get something with a delicious cake texture? I didn’t. And you should find out.

Now, I’m gonna get down and dirty and try to write an essay while having a few lazy mornings to myself. With some cake.

Banana Scones

I like to ask people about traditions that they may have during the holidays.

There’s those who hold family feasts. Some have ritual skates with friends at the city rink. Perhaps bells are tied to the family cat’s collar so there can be funny tinkling. Or is there an angerfest about how the holidays are for capitalist consumers and are filled with overspending and gluttony?

Whatever you peeps do, I hope that it is done with joy and with people you like.

For my family, we watch a movie together while eating a huge pizza with chicken wings, cake, popcorn, and soda. That’s how you can usually get the five of us together: a good show and food. I think that’s actually a good formula that pretty much works with any family.

One tradition that I have during my examinations would be to continuously crank stuff out of my oven. Naw, that was a lie. I always make stuff to eat. But this time around, with the holidays coming around, I felt like being posh and tried my hand at scones—because scones sounded fancy.

I used Anja’s recipe for banana cherry scones, but left out the cherries and they turned out great. They were bread-like in that they were soft and slightly sweetened by the bananas. You can taste the hearty whole wheat too.

Anyways, I wish that I was a tea drinker, so I could have treated myself to a solo tea party with my scones. Buuut, I’m not, so I settled for my soy milk. It was great.

Carrot Muffins

Give me a muffin. That is stout and delicious.

Whose top is chewy.

Crispy.

Hard.

Crunchy.

Whose belly is soft and fragrant.

I want my homemade muffins have muffin tops like those coffee shop muffins. With those crunchy, chewy edges. Edges that hang over the side. But those coffee shops have a secret that I do not know.

No, do not give me a cakey muffin. That’s a cupcake.

I don’t want a cupcake.

I want an ugly cupcake.

I want a muffin hearty enough to be called breakfast.

A muffin that is strong.

A superhero muffin…like superman. Or wonderwoman. It’s supawondamuffin. To the rescue.

Give me a good muffin…and I will marry you on the spot.

No jokes.

Carrot Muffins
adapted only slightly from Robin Hood

1 1/4 cups whole wheat flour
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup natural bran
2 1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1 tsp baking soda
3/4 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
2 eggs
1/2 cup apple sauce
3 cups carrots, grated
1/2 cup chopped walnuts or pecans (optional)
1/2 cup raisins

Combine flour, sugar, bran, spices, baking soda, baking powder and salt in mixing bowl.

Beat eggs and applesauce together.

Stir in carrots.

Add liquid ingredients to dry ingredients. Stir just until moistened.

Stir in nuts and raisins.

Fill greased muffin cups 3/4 full.

Bake at 375°F (190°C) for 25-30 minutes or until top springs back when lightly touched.

Bulgur and Fruit Breakfast

Once upon a time, there was a girl, named Fatty Dumpling, who worked at a day camp in Toronto. On this particular day, she was assigned to a camp for 4-5 year olds. She and her fellow camp counselors brought the kiddos to a park to swim in the splash pad and act like little hooligans in the playground.

In the middle of the day, the camp counselors gathered the kids underneath some big trees to have lunch. After running away from a few wasps and breaking out the meal plans, everyone settled down for some good munching.

As Fatty Dumpling dug into her cucumber sandwich, she heard her camp director ask, “Max? Maxwell, what are you doing?”

The girl looked up to find a cute little blonde curly-haired boy licking an orange in one hand—peel and all. “I-I can’t open it”, the little boy exclaimed. “Well, you can ask anybody to help you! There’s me, there’s Tina, and there’s Stephanie; there’s loads of people you can ask”, my camp director replied.

Fatty Dumpling then heard the sound of little feet walking and looked up to find Maxwell pushing his orange to her. “Please open it for me”, he said. The girl peeled the orange and handed it back to the little boy. He didn’t say thank you, but that was alright.

After lunch, Fatty Dumpling began to clean up. When she gathered up the garbage, she found Maxwell’s whole orange with little bites in its orangy flesh. Darn. Fatty Dumpling should have peeled the orange into wedges for Maxwell to eat.

Maxwell cracks me up. I’ve been home in Toronto for the past week after my finals at the University of Guelph, but I’ll be moving to a different town this Monday for my first co op work term—and I will be working with kids.

I’ll be an intern at an outdoor education centre, introducing youngins to the magic that are trees and nature. I might tell the kids white lies about ferocious bears as well just to be funny. I hope to have a fabulous time. I also hope that I’ll be able to bring back some hilarious stories such as this one about Maxwell. Kids are so funny sometimes.

Before I leave, I will be leaving you with my first entry to Kurious Kitteh’s An Affair of Breakfast, which is a promise to make breakfast a wee bit more special then the simple staple of bread and butter.

And I made a beautiful mess.

In reality, I boiled up some bulgur and poached some sliced strawberries and bananas at the same time in the cooking bulgar. Then, I topped the concoction with yogurt, sliced almonds, sunflower seeds, honey, and a dollop of peanut butter.

One blog that I like to browse from time to time happen to be Healthy Exposures by…that gal (I just realized that I know her by appearance, but not by name. I’m a creeper). Her breakfasts and meals always seem like some strange colour-intensive beautiful mess, with ingredients that I do not understand, but are nonetheless mesmerizing. So, I set out to do some kind of weird thing too. Thank Buddha it tasted good.

So, An Affair of Breakfast asks the Fatty Dumpling: how has this breakfast affected your life? With the addition of drinking my cranberry tea in the morning for the first time, it has made my already slow mornings even slower. I liked slow. However, when I am at the outdoor education centre for the next two months, I will also enjoy having my meals pre-made for me. I see hot dogs and grilled cheese sandwiches in my future.