Seitan Pepperoni Crumbles

by fattydumpling

Hi there. I want to share some stories that are just 6 words long, written by some notable sci-fi, fantasy, and horror writers. Be careful though, there is some profanity ahead. Some are hilarious–some are sad—all are devastatingly witty.

Longed for him. Got him. Shit.
- Margaret Atwood

From torched skyscrapers, men grew wings.
- Gregory Maguire

“Cellar?” “Gate to, uh … hell, actually.”
- Ronald D. Moore

It cost too much, staying human.
- Bruce Sterling

I’m your future, child. Don’t cry.
- Stephen Baxter

The baby’s blood type? Human, mostly.
- Orson Scott Card

Kirby had never eaten toes before.
- Kevin Smith

To save humankind he died again.
- Ben Bova

Husband, transgenic mistress; wife: “You cow!”
- Paul Di Filippo

Don’t marry her. Buy a house.
- Stephen R. Donaldson

whorl. Help! I’m caught in a time
- Darren Aronofsky and Ari Handel

God to Earth: “Cry more, noobs!”
- Marc Laidlaw

Dinosaurs return. Want their oil back.
- David Brin

I saw, darling, but do lie.
- Orson Scott Card

Dorothy: “Fuck it, I’ll stay here.”
- Steven Meretzky

Those stories made me laugh out loud.

Besides reading good tales this past week, I also made a pizza, topped with some Seitan Pepperoni Crumbles, recipe by Celine of Have Cake, Will Travel. Pizza pie tasted good. After making the pizza dough (also from the same blog post by Celine), I threw on a cup of grated mozzarella cheese, the seitan crumbles, and a whole chopped sweet red bell pepper. It was superbly tasty, the crunchy seitan made a nice contrast to the soft pizza dough.

I made some changes to the recipe though. Made it sans liquid smoke and star anise simply because I didn’t have any. I also lowered the amount of red pepper flakes and cayenne pepper to ¼ teaspoon because…my tongue’s a wimp sometimes.

The seitan crumbles tasted like instant noodles. Seriously, it did. I had a lot of fun standing in front of my stove, shoving crumbles between my lips, wondering why it tasted oddly familiar. Deliciously so. I really liked it, especially as a part of pizza. I’ve made a few seitan foodstuffs before, and I have to say that I like this recipe the most so far.

I think that dried basil smells like Asian foods.

Now…I want to ask you. What would you call a defining act of a nerd? Perhaps when said nerd pulls out her nifty graphing calculator to calculate what colour an apple is? Perhaps when said nerd refuses the vacation trip to Mexico because she did not want to miss the lecture on neutrinos broadcasted live from the SNOLAB?

Perhaps one defining act can be when a person stuff plastic bags into her suitcase in order to protect  and cushion her books and CDs from possible bumps and bruises? Or can she be considered the coolest person ever?

I like to think the latter.